guilty... as charged!

back at the water...

"mommy, watch"!

love that smile!

trying to get into the other water!

the big light bright!!

so serious!

building blocks. it was fun to watch him try to get them together!

"jamey!!!"

another favorite... opening and shutting a door! (check out his shirt from nepal!! it says "yak yak yak"... thanks auntie rene!)

more water time!

oh wow!

his favorite thing... pushing the button OVER AND OVER!

on the ship!!

just like daddy... a good navigator!

a bright future career?? gosh i love that boy!

we went to the children's museum yesterday (as nora put it later, it is also a mommy's and daddy's museum..). we had a few hours before we had to get nora from school, and if i came home, there would have been too much to do. plus, since i left my kids with grammie and grandpa for a week, i felt bad not hanging out with him! we had a blast. a quick stop at whole foods for a few provisions, and then 45 minutes at the museum (it was only a 90 min roundtrip drive!).

it's been a stressful week. and i was STRESSED! lots of little things, some big things, and getting ready to MOVE to a tropical isle! ya know... i didn't always handle it well, and KNEW that my worry wasn't okay. (and i got to hold a baby in the middle of the week... that was a great stress relief!) i wanted to be as organized as i could be. and now i am thankful for that organization. there will be a few boxes of chaos- random papers and things, but mostly, it's fairly organized. i have my ohio stuff all packed up and the movers are doing their job.

i felt guilty for being stressed. and not "being there" for my kids. guilty for sending them away (although i KNEW that they would have a blast with grammie and grandpa and that would be way more fun than moving! and everyone would win, because we are moving far away, and this is a SPECIAL time!). but that added to my stress.

and i looked at this post and felt guilty that it's only about james. but seriously, how many posts (20 months worth) does nora have without jamey? and then guilty about that. guilty that i am sitting, blogging, while someone packs up my life. guilty that i am a little excited that i get a week without my kids, and my hubs and i can enjoy newport. guilty that i left hubs and the kids the other afternoon to walk with a friend, trying to help her go into labor, and work out! (she didn't...)

and guilty for all the guilt! how ridiculous is that? so i am done with the guilt. my kids are safe and having a BALL! i can hear it in their voices, and could see before they left how excited they were to be at grammie's! (nora got up to watch some of the wedding this morning, and it's reported that after "the kiss", nora said, "and they lived happily ever after". umm, maybe less disney in our lives??) it's good for all involved! i am over my guilt, and even stress now! it's easy day for awhile! and none of that was right...

in spite of my attitude, God was good (isn't He always). i got a call from a friend yesterday, offering to help in any way... bring us meals, paper plates, etc. (although, i am excited to get to eat out in newport!!) such a blessing! got to catch up with a few good friends on my drive to and from ikea (to get replacement furniture for some stuff i sold on craigslist!), lost and then found my credit card in ikea (thanks to the person who turned it in!!)...

i took nora to school yesterday morning, and started tearing up. i thought i was okay, and came back to pick her up. i watched her friends literally dogpile her and hug her. i watched her teacher hug her and kiss her on the cheek. and i started bawling. which made a few other moms cry. (okay, confession... i am tearing up just writing this) and then realized i am SO THANKFUL for this school. these friends. the fact that we will see some of them again! i would probably have cried on nora's last day of preschool regardless... my baby is growing up! it made it harder that we are leaving. she, however, just smiled and waved! (and keeps asking for a few of them to be at her birthday! sad...)

thanks for reading this far (for those of you who stuck with me!). thanks for letting me journal and pour out my heart. i told david last night, again through tears, that i am sad we are "choosing" to be apart for the next few months. but we have prayed about it and feel it is best (and excited to be in ohio for the summer). sad to be leaving again, but LOVE that this is my life. i was just chatting with one of the movers about my love for travel and adventure. it fits perfectly with my navy wife job! i am excited for the next chapter. just sad about closing this one.

we are looking at some houses online, and hope to set up a few appointments for when david gets there! start booking your plane tickets!!!