20 October 2012

till kingdom come...

new clothes...  

sweet girl, who has been looking so grown up this week!

my crazy-big baby boy!!!  he's started growling this week.  he sounds like jack-jack from "the incredibles".  you know, when jack-jack goes all crazy and lights on fire?  yeah... super weird.  

she can talk really well with those in her mouth!  

sweet face!

he SO wants to be a big kid.  it's so fun to watch!!!

my sweet frog-man!  again, he can talk really well in those teeth!!!

eating everything in sight.  including, hummus from costco!  love this kid.  apparently, he looks just like me!  

i love this song by coldplay... "till kingdom come".  there is a line about waiting for someone, till kingdom come.  that's how long it feels like i have been waiting right now.  i am ready.  beyond ready. it was a rougher week.  not rough, just rougher than it's been.  not sure if i am just EXHAUSTED of being a single mother to three children, or i know the end is in sight, so i am giving up.  (and trying VERY hard NOT to give up.)  

so, i am NOT going to whine about being a single mother.  but, i am going to tell you what's been going through my mind this week.  T-R-A-N-S-I-T-I-O-N.  

i mean, at the end of the day, david will have been gone almost eight months.  think back to eight months ago.  david left on march 23rd.  what were you doing in march?  can you even remember back that far?  what has changed for you?

i have been thinking about things i am doing differently.  i rearranged the family room.  i bought a new dresser that is in the family room.  i hung stuff up differently on the walls.  i painted the coffee table.  i made curtains for the kitchen.  i added things to the walls for storage/mail/etc.  i brought a bookshelf in to the kitchen for books.  i rearranged the play room.  like four times.  

i bought new bedding for us.  i am (almost) done with bedding for james' room.  my goal is to also be done with new bedding for nora's room.  i (found on the side of the street) got david a bedside table.  i subscribed to netflix.  i got a cleaning lady.  (gasp... our house has never looked so clean!  it's unrecognizable!)

my kids...  nora started kindergarten.  she started reading.  she's crazy independent.  and likes to nap sometimes.  and can unload the dishwasher.  and make her own lunches.  and sometimes breakfast.  

james.  dresses himself.  is potty trained.  doesn't sit in a high chair.  tries to sleep in my bed every night.  doesn't really sleep with puppy anymore.  

both my kids are (i think) out of pull-ups at night.  (so, i am only occasionally changing beds!)

christopher.  don't even get me started.  he was 9 weeks when david left.  he will be almost 10 months when david gets home.  he can army crawl like nobody's business.  and is trying to get up on all fours to crawl.  and eats.  like he's never seen food in his life!  i mean, you can't shovel it in fast enough.  and babbles.  mostly just says "dada".  will look at my phone, too, and say "dada".  (there's a pic of david on my phone!)  he laughs all the time.  and sleeps through the night (not that david usually noticed if he didn't!!!).  and plays with you.  and waves.  and can sign a little bit.  and is 22 pounds.  kid is HUGE!!

eight months.  that's 3/4 a year.  over 200 days.  a long time.  

i have lost 25 pounds.  and have more muscle than i have ever had.  and gone gluten free.  and become more independent than i realized i could be.  and missed david more than i ever thought possible.  there have been moments.  days, weeks, where i just couldn't catch my breath.  i missed david with every fiber of my being.  to breath deep meant to start crying.  and i didn't have the time or energy for it.  

i am not saying we are done yet.  they are not home.  they have to be in port before i can relax (yes, ships have been days away from home, and turned around for an extension.  pray that's not us!!!).  but we are close.  and i am ready.  and preparing.  because we will have transition.  it's inevitable.  

we are are both different people than when he left.  he's seen more of the world.  and done some amazing things. and we've grown.  (i so do not mean for this to sound ominous.  i am not worried about growing apart, etc.  i think we have both been very intentional that that DOESN'T happen.)  but we are different.  life is different.  life has happened for the last eight months.  and our life is about to change (and i mean that in only, all, completely positive ways!!!).  but change doesn't come without transition!  

the end.  or, the beginning!!!  hurry home, love!  i am waiting!

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