05 December 2008

breaking my heart

in my last post, i talked about nora's sweet way of praying and knowing that Jesus loves her was breaking my heart.  i was thinking today about the MANY ways that your heart breaks as a mom, but no one warns you about...

nora has had a bad diaper rash.  i think it's mostly because of teething.  (which is also something no one tells you about until you are a mom!!  teething is MISERABLE!!!)  but, the other night, she went to the nursery while i had Bible study.  they called me out, because nora wouldn't stop crying, couldn't walk or sit, or let anyone pick her up, because her bum hurt so bad!  i wasn't much consolation, because she was in so much pain, and i just wanted to hold her, which in some way meant touching her bottom to pick her up and carry her!  i was crying right along with her!!!  it is miserable to change her diaper when it's that bad, but i have to, or it gets worse!!  so, my heart just breaks as i make my daughter cry to do something that ultimately is for her good...

that got me thinking about God.  He loves us like a father to His children.  i can only imagine what my sometimes rebellious attitude does to Him.  or when He disciplines me, that it really does hurt Him as much as it does me.  it painted such a clear picture for me of my relationship with God!!!

david had duty on wednesday, which means he doesn't come home until the next afternoon.  when he got home, we were all excited to see him!!!  we played and read stories with nora.  she gave him big hugs and kisses.  then, i turned on some music, and she came over to dance with me.  she came to my legs, and stood there with her arms up and open!  so, i picked her up and we danced.  then, "i loved her first" came on (it's a country song about a father's love for his little girl).  david came over, took nora from my arms and danced with her.  again, my heart broke (but in a good way).  it also makes me fall even more madly in love with the man i married!!!

one of my other favorite things, that breaks my heart in a good way, is when i am busy doing something, and nora comes over and just hugs my legs.  i wouldn't trade that anything else in the world!!!  it is just the most precious thing in the world!!!

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