david is next to the guy in blue. to our right...
see the guy in blue with the yellow hat? david is still to the right of that...
holding up our signs!
we love you daddy!!
david has his head turned.
she was getting a little tired of waiting. and annoyed with her wardrobe malfunction... the tie to the dress broke.
looking over to find daddy...
he turned and asked, "can i go with him?"
"bye daddy. we love you!"
david is on the far left...
gosh, i love that man!
like crazy...
the kids...
and daddy... on the right.
just as the ship was getting underway. david is on the far right.
again... far right!
david is in the center here... just to the left of center.
watching the ship pull away from the pier.
steaming on ahead, out of the harbor.
we made record time to the landing where we usually watch the ship. we played a bit of ring around the rosy...
james moved just as i took this pic... but it turned out so cool... nora's head totally looks like it's attached to jamey's body!! i was trying to get them both peeking out from behind the tree...
she, however, has NO PROBLEM posing!
sweet boy...
i love that face!
i love the way the ship looks, peeking through the trees...
leaving the harbor!
they all look so nice in their whites, manning the rails!
waving...
another pic...
we then drove to the beach... with her at our right the whole way!
we got to the beach, just as she did!!!
this was BEFORE we put on our suits... i even got to stand up paddle board! pics to come later...
this has been a painful ripping of the band aid. it was a slow last week. i am SO THANKFUL for it. we have had such wonderful family time in the last few months. between baby leave and pre deployment leave and his schedule, we have seen a lot of daddy. and had so much fun... cherishing the time we have had. that said, there comes a point where it's JUST. TIME.
neither of us had been too sad. we both prepared for it... david getting his stuff ready to go, me getting stuff for him to go! we did the "daddy stories" where he read to them on video. i wrote him letters. we got stuff done that we needed to. we just had fun.
so, yesterday, when he had the whole day off, we had nothing left to do. we took the kids to school in the morning so we could have some time. we went to breakfast, walked a bit, and then came home and watched a movie. he snuggled with chris on the couch and then with me when chris slept. he picked the kids up from school, and we headed to the beach.
we left chris with my mom and really had a great time. i kayaked a bit, and we all played in the water. i had cried the whole way to the beach, but the minutes seemed to tick by so slowly. it was heaven. we got home to a meal prepared by my mom. i watched david play with the kids while i fed christopher. we ate. david read stories. then, it was bedtime. it was a hard bedtime. the kids kept looking at us like we had two heads, as we just cried. (okay, maybe "daddy is going away" and "the kissing hand" weren't the best choices for bedtime stories, but...)
after the kids went to bed, we just snuggled on the couch. watching "wild amazon" and "the big bang theory". (we're nerds like that!) it was wonderful to lay there while he played with my hair. and then it was bedtime. those minutes hadn't gone slow!
i don't think david slept much last night. i, however, had cried myself into exhaustion! our kids woke up before 5am, afraid they were going to miss daddy. he got dressed, and played with them till it was time to go. they said goodbye, and nora asked why he was crying again. she said, "you just did that, last night!" but, they weren't bothered at all with him leaving (which was what i wanted!)
i drove him in and cried the whole way. the man at the gate probably didn't know what to do with me as i handed him my id! thankfully, david had kept enough time for us to say good-bye at the pier. we hugged. cried. kissed. and i looked around and there were so many others doing the same thing. then, i had to let go and watch him walk away.
rushed home, rounded up the troops, went back to the ship to capture all the pics you see above! we said good-bye. it was really hard to just stand there and stare at each other. david used the word "heartsick" today. i haven't been able to take a deep breath yet. not sure how, but i made it through the groc without crying! but, at the pier. he would look at me and mouth "i love you". and i the same. then, he would look back, as someone talked to him, or to check something. i would look around and make sure all three kids were still there.
such a picture of where we are in our lives. my heart was breaking. i couldn't see through my tears. but each of us has something else pulling us away. for him, it's work. he has a job to do. one i want him to do well. and he can't do it if he is only focusing on me or our family.
and i am here, with our kids. and what a blessing they are. i can't dwell on how sad i am and be a good mom to them (yes, i CAN be sad, and have bad days, but i couldn't come home and crawl into bed like i wanted!! and it was probably better for me not to!).
then, i read this on a blog today...
the trick is to enjoy your life... don't wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead... marjorie pay hinckley
so, while i lay here, with my chest so tight, tears welling up in my eyes, i don't want to wish away the next eight months. and as i type eight months, i am not sure how that is possible. but, so many others get through this. we will get through it. and have fun doing it!
i told david this morning that i am so proud of him. proud of what he does. thankful for his love for us. thankful to love him so much that it hurts to watch him go. and a little jealous of his port visits!!! lucky i'm in love with my best friend!
we went to the beach after, and several friends met us there, or joined us from the ship. i looked around the beach, so thankful for the family i have here. for the friends who have called or texted to check up on me today.
the kids... so many people have asked about the kids. i realized yesterday that james is getting it so much more than i thought. he's been super clingy and keeps saying "i don't want daddy to go away on his ship". in addition to begging to go with daddy today. he also was telling me how he didn't want the bad guys to get daddy. i think as we talk about daddy going to get the pirates, it is so much more dramatic for him. but i am so thankful for his hugs!
nora is doing well most of the time. she has had a few moments where she just sobs, "i want my daddy". i think she does. i also think she was SO TIRED today, and has a slight drama queen bone in her body! (she is that way with a lot of things... but i DO THINK she does want her daddy!)
thanks for your prayers. we continue to appreciate them! thanks for listening today!
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