so much...

kid ASKED to eat my spaghetti tonight. he only took one bite, but he asked! that's huge. he's the kid who can't be bribed for anything. i was so excited...

my sweet new planter. i need to get some more plants. but, i want to see how my plants do first. basil on the back... nora's pretty stoked about helping me out with it! so much fun...

here's hoping they go better. cause i killed my beautiful orchid, i think. at least, all the flowers fell off. any suggestions?

and he got a new watch! so much fun. he hasn't taken it off since. and, no, there are none of the girl. sorry! but, there were a whole 20 months without james where it was ALL. ABOUT. HER!

i am not sure where to begin. i have so many thoughts i want to share. i am just not sure how or what to say. they aren't even that important or deep. just a lot going on in this head. i have been reading this blog. it's overwhelming. somehow (i forget exactly who) i got linked to it. sadly, it was a mention of this girl's death. and i started reading. and i am reading her life backwards. i know the end, and am working towards the beginning. (it's great when hubs is gone!!) it's like reading an autobiography. but knowing the ending.

i was telling my dad about this girl's blog and he asked why i was reading it. it's been so moving and so... this girl was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. eventually, she hadn't left her condo in two years. and when she was delivered flowers, that she didn't even accept, she had an allergic reaction that lasted the next week. she could barely move, barely walk, barely talk. she wrote at one point about preparing for visitors to come. she prepares a week in advance. showering. eating. medications. not skyping or talking to anyone else so she could have visitors. she couldn't see visitors if there was any chance they could bring in a germ. she was allergic to air, chocolate, life.

and what attracted me to her was that she chose joy. she wasn't mad at God. she had a wonderful relationship with Him. so many times, i wanted to link you to a specific post, but the list got so long. you might never be able to go back and read the whole thing. (i am only a year back...) but here's the thing...

it could change at any second. my life is pretty darn good right now. i met david's captain on saturday night. one of the first things he said to me was apologizing for how much david is gone right now. don't get me wrong. i want him home most nights (one or two is nice for getting some sewing done...). i would rather be with him. but the few times he has been gone recently haven't been bad. maybe it's knowing that something bigger IS coming. that he will leave for seven months. so four days is no big deal. but it seemed to me that some are disheartened about how much the guys are gone right now.

when david was gone last week, my friend (who's hubs has been gone for 4+ months) asked if i was so ready for david to come back. how could i say that 4 days was SO BAD when she's been a single mom for FOUR MONTHS! (side note... i am not trying to compare my life, or say i am better, or have it better. but, i don't have much to complain about.)

i don't want to take that for granted. i want to choose joy. i want to show the world God living in me. doesn't mean i won't have bad days. doesn't mean i won't dislike david's job or being gone at a certain point. but i want to choose joy. and find ways to demonstrate my joy. and not be so overwhelmed and wrapped up in my life that i can't see beyond me.

we went out for froyo the other night. there was a family with three kids there. as i was leaving, the mom looked at me and said, "good luck with three". and it was not a friendly "good luck". i was so disheartened. not because i am having three. but because she was so discouraging.

on the upside... i got a new cousin this week! so excited to meet the sweet boy! and, i got david's Christmas present. mostly because it was WAY more expensive than i expected. and i know he wanted it. and i can't wait! i think i should be able to show you this weekend. he's getting it tomorrow.

and... i finished the new crib bumpers! i can't wait to show you. but, i want to have them in the crib first! oh, and the trades are coming back. that's local for saying we are getting our winds back. it's pretty still in september. and i am quite excited about the winds being back.

this morning, i watched david's ship leave. not for long, thankfully! but it was still a little sad. i got in the car to drive from preschool to the landing. leigh and i were going to walk on the path there, and david's ship had just passed. as i got in the car, there was a song on that makes me think of david. "crazy girl". and then, getting back in the car there was another song that he sings a lot. "God gave me you for the ups and downs". it was so fun. such a good reminder that he loves me. and that God loves me more than that!

also, i got to catch up with a friend who has been living on the other side of the world for a few months. so good to hear her voice! wishing i could catch up with so many more. a little over the time change here!!!

also, we are discussing nora's schooling next year. should she go to preschool or kindergarten. because if it's kindergarten, our applications should already be in. and that thought scares me. that my baby could be in kindergarten. prayerfully trying to consider what's best for nora. not just right now, but 12 years from now. what makes the most sense for OUR family.