before bed tonight. you can't see the perfect pink cheeks, kissed by the sun today.
today is our first underway in five years. (well, except for the one two weeks ago when david was here...) i guess he did a bunch of short trips in san diego, right after jamey was born. but, it's my first underway in a brand new state. where i know two girls. and not even the babysitters i emailed are writing me back.
so, today was tough. it the spirit of (mostly) full disclosure, i cried. a lot. and was thankful for big sunglasses because my eyes are still so puffy. i am chalking it up to hormones, not that i can't handle it. i was a brat last night, and i think that made going into today even harder. i was a brat despite myself, and despite prayer that my attitude would change.
thankfully, i am married to a wonderful man who will let me cry and cry. (ironically we had just watched the friends episode with bruce willis where he is a hot mess of tears. seriously, that was me last night and today.) and who kisses me goodbye in the morning.
and i have wonderful friends who will talk me down from the ledge and give me a gameplan for the day. not every day, just to get through today. and they will facetime me despite puffy eyes and the way facetime makes me look! (it's not pretty) and the girls will get to see each other. (nora even asked for a story tonight involving her friend.)
and said friend will remind me, as i sob, and acknowledge that it's ONLY eleven days. i have a husband who will come home. it's not a year. it's not forever. but remind me that i can have a bad day. and be sad about eleven days. i don't have to compare how easy i have it today. thank you. from the bottom of my heart...
and i have these wonderful children who played so wonderfully well today. i mean, i kept looking at them wondering whose kids they were! they were angels! playing so peacefully.
even at target. i just assembled my first bookshelf of the night. one more to go! all the while watching bad tv. i got a few emails from the love of my life today. and heard a great song while making dinner. "in christ alone". so wonderful! i got the baby/guest room cleaned out and organized. i got nora's room cleaned and organized. i found all of jamey's 3t clothes and hung them up. threw all of david's uniforms into the guest room.... (there is SO. MUCH. closet space here... it makes more sense to have the ones he doesn't use every day in another room...)
so, there you go. a bad day. that turned out really well. OH... i also got to ichat with my sisters... and embraced the fact that there wasn't much to do. tomorrow is school! and the gym!!! and one day is down!
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