can i just talk...

can i just talk for a minute? i guess it's my blog, and no one is forcing you to listen, so... here i go. my camera is getting looked at. we have to decide if it's worth fixing, or if i just get a new one (it's not my decision... MY decision would be to get a new one with the video camera!! it's the insurance company's.)... and i haven't taken any pics on the phone. i will work on that. it's been an interesting week. or few weeks. as a friend said this morning, "i have a heavy heart". there is so much going on. babies and kids in the hospital, adult friends with awful health scares, young marrieds with brain tumors. an earthquake and tsunami. i dropped tomato basil soup on the floor this morning (that last one was for a bit of levity). friends deploying. anyway. there's a lot. and we have been talking a lot this week about how God is in control. of everything. it doesn't make the bad stuff go away. but He has a plan and purpose. and it will work out for HIS glory. maybe not always the way i would choose, but always perfect.

in the midst, i have seen God working. one friend's blog encourages another. and another. and today, we had a sewing date planned. when i walked in, my friend had just found out about a death in her family. God knew that we would be showing up today. that we could be there to support her. to pray. to help figure out details (and take kids if need be). i couldn't have planned it like that. left to humans, we might have decided to stay away. or her decide she just didn't want anyone there. but, we were and it was good. God is good.

it's so easy to get wrapped up in the busyness of life, to "do" things, and not look outside immediate wants and needs. to not seek out someone hurting. to not seek God first. that's not how i want to live my life, and not how i want to teach my kids how to live it.

in Bible study this morning, a question was posed about the last time that you have seen a MAN cry. i immediately thought of when i saw david CRY. not a tear here and there. but CRY. (and i skipped over the cavs losing in the playoffs. that's not worth tears to me!!!) we had been dating for a few months, and i was having knee problems (no relation... always had knee problems...). i decided i had free health care, and i should probably get it checked out. it had been sprained years before, but never right. so, i got it checked out. and they put me on limited duty. i figured it didn't mean much, since it wasn't like i couldn't not work.

limited duty meant i had to work on another floor (which also meant uniforms and not scrubs), with people i didn't know as well. i was mad. i didn't want to work there. i wanted to be where i was comfortable (i feel like there's a whole other lesson there). but i did. that friday night, david got a phone call. his brother had fallen while hiking and fractured his skull. (here's the article) because i was on the other floor, which was routinely slower, david came and we sat together. that never would have happened had i been working on labor and delivery. also that weekend, there was a girl on the floor who was pregnant and wanted to give her baby up for adoption. that baby is now the son of a DEAR friend. i get tears in my eyes every time i think about that. i fought working there SO HARD. and you know what... my knees haven't hurt since. not even training for and running the half marathon.

last thing. i didn't mean to bury this, but here's another article... if the whole spending/budget, as previously mentioned, doesn't get approved, david will get to work without pay come april 1st. civilian gov't employees would be furloughed, if non-essential, but the "essential" personnel may or may not get paid when funds become available. why is no one talking about this??? but, again, God is in control. it's not lost on Him. and, as with the orders and everything else in my life, i will wait on Him.

this was way longer and went it way more directions than i meant it to. but, it's my heart. and i am feeling better, just typing it. i seriously thought about just deleting it.