it's still in God's hands!!

i was reminded that yesterday (that it's still in God's hands) when the doctor told me she decided james needed to have the surgery under general anesthesia in the main operating room. which was so. not. my. plan. but, as i have been learning and clinging to recently, God is in control and has a better plan than i do. (and, it's one of those scenarios that i know too much, being a nurse. i know the things that can go wrong with anesthesia. but i also know who holds james and my futures.)

it also makes me think about something else i realized recently. the summer before fifth grade, i forgot to unload the dishwasher. i was supposed to do it that morning, but i think we ran out the door to swimming lessons. we got back and stef and i wanted to ride our bikes down to a friend's house to swim. i headed out the door before i could even remember the dishwasher needed unloaded. i was in front (being the older sister, of course) and stef was behind me. always the little sister, she was challenging me to "go faster". so, i did... and lost control of my bike. i flew over the handlebars and broke my front tooth in half (oddly, something my husband and i have in common!!). i also broke my wrist, but we were more concerned about the tooth at first, i almost didn't have an er visit!

i remember my mom telling me (and not in a harsh way) that if i had been doing what i was supposed to be doing, this might not have happened. what if i had stayed home and unloaded the dishwasher? (david hates the "what if" game... because you could also argue that if i did that, i could have been rushing even more and the same thing could have happened!) however, the point remains that one of the outcomes of my disobedience was an accident.

i saw that this week with nora. she was standing in front of me as i sat on the couch, and i asked her to do something (i don't even remember what now... maybe go put something in the sink while i fed baby james?) anyway, she said no, and walked away. then, with the threat of discipline, she came back to get it and hit her head on the coffee table. but, had she done what i asked from the very beginning, she never would have hit her head. in fact, in the amount of time i spent reasoning with her to do the task, it could have been over, done with and moved on!

how many times do i have that argument, directly or indirectly in my actions, with God? how many times do i say no, or forget to obey, or find another way altogether? and how many times would the original way worked out the best? only God knows, but it does make me want to be more aware of that.... as my dad always said "delayed obedience is disobedience"! and how true it is (thanks daddy!!!).